Coffins

Long ago, you built a coffin in the corner of your mind to place me in. I didn't ever really have a choice in the matter, but I couldn't help but fight back. No matter how many times you kept picking me up, carrying me back to that coffin in the corner of your mind, and nailing it shut, I kept finding my way out, pushing the nails out - refusing to let you bury me. I've finally realized (or rather, accepted) I can fight my burial no longer. It's been inevitable from the day you gathered the supplies to build that coffin in the corner of your mind. So I give up. I'll lie there silently and let you hammer every single nail into that coffin and lower it deep into your memory - my final resting place in your mind. And now I shall build you a coffin, the one I gathered the materials for long ago but couldn't even bear to assemble, let alone place you in. It is time, and I must lay you to rest deep in my memory. You won't put up a fight, nor will you beg me to let you out. You'll go quietly, which will pain me further. While burying you is still a struggle for me, I have to do it. But I have no doubt some beautiful flowers will grow atop your grave in that corner of my mind, even if I neglect the entire area of water and sunlight.

I've never been one for building coffins. I hope this one is the last.

Kites, Ruffles, and Childhood Memories

A few days ago, I was eating a bag of Ruffles, and a fond memory found its way into my mind. I know they say scent often provokes the most powerful sense memories, but for me, on this particular day, it was taste that brought on the fit of nostalgia.

I was probably about four or five-years-old, and it was a blustery day in Azusa. Dad took me to the high school a few blocks from our house (which I would later come to know as my Alma mater) to fly a kite. The exact details are a bit fuzzy, but I know we had Ruffles, and he explained how addictive potato chips can be. I remember trying the chips and not thinking much of them until he said that. Then I wanted more.

There we were, father and daughter, enjoying some disgustingly delicious junk food on a sunny, blue-skied, windy day in Southern California. After finishing our snack, it was time to fly the kite. I can see that kite so clearly in my mind's eye. It was a black, Mylar-ish kite, shaped like an octopus with a somewhat metallic sheen to it. It had purple, blue, and green accents and markings on it. I so LOVED to watch it fly.

Plain potato chips of any variety have never been my favorite, but when I do decide to eat them, I think of that great day with my dad. I miss those days and others like them. I've realized I need to record my memories more often... like my many excursions to Griffith Park with Gramma Net to ride the Travel Town Railroad, ponies, and merry-go-round; watching Grease over and over again with my best friend Laura; or girls' nights with Mom, the most memorable of which included an indoor picnic with Easter stuffed animals, a quick shopping trip to the Sanrio store that used to exist in the mini mall behind my house, and going to see The Mighty Ducks at the old movie theater in the same mini mall (it was also once home to an arcade and a Penguin's Frozen Yogurt where I developed my love of peach-flavored froyo).

The glory days. I hope I never lose those memories or my love of the things associated with them. But those memories are really about the people in them - the people I love. One of my greatest desires is to create similarly wonderful memories with my own children and grandchildren (that and end up on this website).

Travel, Lists, and Love

I'm new to the blog-o-sphere, as you'll soon find out via my incoherent thoughts. I've felt the need to write lately, though I'm not exactly sure what about. I guess I'll just begin and see where my mind leads my fingers on this keyboard.

You should know, I over-think just about everything, so there will be non sequiturs. You should also know I love politics, or at least discussing the idiocies and intricacies of politics. That being said, don't be surprised if this blog often becomes a place where I vent my frustrations with politics. As someone who follows the news closely, I need this catharsis.

So that's me in a (very small) nutshell. Here are my first random thoughts:

1) I'm on a quest to see the world. I've been to Australia, España, and Costa Rica thus far. Now I'm living in Germany for the next nine months in an attempt to see some of the sights (and sites, for that matter) Europe has to offer. After catching the travel bug myself and then seeing various blogs and photos of those friends of mine who have traveled, I've decided I MUST do this. Beyond someday getting married and having a family, this is my greatest ambition.

2) I'm on another quest - a quest to satisfy my insatiable hunger for movies and television. I've recently discovered the IMDb Watchlist and added 350+ titles to mine in one day. But on the upside, I got to delete my 4-year-old Word document, "Movies to See". I'm whittling down my television list first, so I'm currently catching up on:

~Eastbound and Down

~The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
~Bored to Death
~Boardwalk Empire
~30 Rock
~Community
~Parks and Recreation

~Mad Men

And at the recommendation of a certain someone:

~Six Feet Under
~The Wire

Whew! Good luck to me...

3) This reminds me - I adore lists. Scratch that - adore and often times need lists. They help me function. Without them, I'm pretty sure I'd be a complete mess. Oh, I have a list called "Around the World" - guess which of my passions that pertains to. 

4) Love is amazing. It's just... amazing. Thank you, God, for Love. Without it, there'd be no point to, or joy in, life. And I'm talking Love of all forms: love of little things, love of humanity, love of work, love of pets, love of friends, love of family, and romantic love. I love you, Love.

It is what it is, says Love. ~Erich Fried